Jokes at Jokes, One Liners, Riddles and Lowly Puns

May 21 2008

Charity begins at home

Filed under: funny — Tags: , , , , — entry @ 04:46
She came home early and found her husband in their bedroom, making love to a very attractive young woman.

The wife was VERY upset!

“You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children?!? I’m leaving you! I want a divorce straight away!!!”


And he replied: “Hang on just a minute, honey, so thatI can at least tell you what happened.”

“Fine, go ahead”, she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll ever say to me!”

And he began:


“Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift.
She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.

She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days!

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments!

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, that you don’t wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair just like them.”

He took a quick breath and continued: “She was so grateful for my understanding and help, and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said…, ‘Please………do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?'”


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